The honeymoon stage of any new relationship is one of the happiest, most exciting times in life. Then reality sets in and things go from super happy to regular life. If you employ hacks to massively improve your relationship happiness, you can keep your honeymoon stage going indefinitely. Or re-ignite some of those feelings of adoration that can get glossed over during the course of a busy life.
Because, I don’t have to tell you, relationships are a lot of work. To stay happy most of the time requires a ton a patience, communication, and conflict resolution skills that you may or may not have. Not to despair though. Anyone willing to do the work can reap the benefits.
Sometimes that means compromises you don’t want to make. Sometimes it means going on dates to events you hate. And sometimes it means just doing little things each day to keep the love fires burning. That’s what I’m going to talk to you about today. As a former Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Certified Planned Parenthood Responsible Sexuality Educator, I’ve talked to so many couples about what has gone wrong in their relationships, which gives a lot of insight into how to make things go right. Try a few of these little hack and watch the happiness explode all over your union.
Let your partner know you’re going to miss their presence when they leave. Give a kiss and a hug and remember to always say “I love you.” And when they return, at the least, do the same. Every single day. Plus, every once in awhile, make your greetings extra special with gifts, naughty talk, or super sloppy makeouts. Well, maybe save those for when your partner comes home, so you don’t make him or her late for work.
2. Add Some Sweet Routine
One of the best parts of my day is knowing that I’m going to have a romantic text message from my sweet wife when I wake up, no matter what. She never forgets. And most of the time, I get another one on her lunch break. It may seem like something small and boring and repetitive, but the routine of it makes it so special. It’s love and affection and smiles I can count on. And it reminds me that she’s thinking about me. I highly recommend it.
3. Inject Some Surprise
Supplement those routine love messages with some surprise ones, too. Send random texts with compliments, romantic messages, cut snuggling cat pictures, romantic song lyrics. Getting these out of the blue makes me so happy. And aside from text, you can also hide lovey messages on post-it notes and put them in your partner’s lunch, wallet, books, or car for some surprise romance.
4. Celebrate Your Partner
Make sure your partner knows that you think he or she is sexy and that you want to have sex with them. It’s so flattering to feel desired. It makes you feel beautiful and sexy and wanted. All that equals big increases in happiness. Do this every day, even if you just make a show of gawking at your partner as he or she gets in the shower. Be a fan. A big one.
This hack is no joke. It has more power than Buffy and the genie from Aladdin combined. If you and your partner live together, make a chore chart. Once you’re both on the same page about who does what housework and you’re always coming home to a clean, relaxing environment, you’ll be so much more relaxed. That translates into big happiness points. And fewer arguments. And more Netflix and chill time. Oh, and this goes double for making budgets. Make one. Trust me.
6. Listen And Act
This is one of those sweet gestures that makes you a great partner. It also goes really far to upping you and your partner’s happiness. It involves listening to what your partner says, then acting on it. What does that mean? It means if your partner talks about loving a certain kind of ice cream, that you pick it up next time you’re at the store. If your partner mentions wishing she had more pictures of her family in the house, contact his or her family and get some. If you listen carefully, you’ll notice all kinds of tiny ways to brighten your partner’s day and opportunities for sweet gestures.
We live in a culture that’s obsessed with what other people think of us. It’s why we carefully curate our Instagram pages and invent sparkling versions of ourselves for Facebook. So a great way to make your partner more happy is to brag about them to his or her friends and family. Tell their mom how proud your are of them. Tell their best friend how gorgeous and special they are. Talk up new jobs or accomplishments. Be a real cheerleader, but do it in pubic sometimes. All the feels make for all the happy.
It’s true, it takes work to keep the happiness fires burning, but it’s the best kind of work sometimes.